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Ugh... TO

it'll be even worse when they move to Toronto in a few years. I've chosen to start calling them the Toruffalo Bills for the time being. I've come up with a couple different ideas as to why Ralph Wilson might've signed TO. #1, the Bills aren't a popular team in the NFL, meaning they are probably in the bottom 5 for jerseys, hats, shirts, inflatable coaches sold. By signing TO you get instant recognization and maybe a touch more credibility as far as contending for a division title/playoff birth. Ofcourse I can't watch ESPN over here but I can tell you I've seen more poll question and articles about the Bills in the past 4 days than I did all of last season from ESPN.com. #2 Ralph Wilson genuinely thinks TO will help the team win, Wilson's about 90 years old, he's the only owner who has seen every single hall of fame player and coach actually involved in the game at one time or another. He's on his way out the door and wants to see the Bills competitive for atleast one year before he croaks. Depending on TO's behavior, that could be sooner rather than later. #3 and I feel like this is the most likely, he's old and senile, he forgot to take his medication and in his state of delirium he thought he was at a McDonald's drive thru ordering a McFish but it was actually a meeting with Drew Rosenhaus and he ended up buying a $6 million McFish value meal. For the past 10 years the Bills have more or less been only a few parts away from contending for the division. During most of that time the Patriots have been dominating the division and conference so rarely did they actually have a chance to cause some damage in the playoffs. Terrell Owens does give them a deep receiving threat that they haven't had since they released Andre Reed but all the other crap that he also brings to the team just doesn't seem to justify it. The main thing they have going for them is that like Stephon Marbury signing with the Celtics, this might be their last shot at redemption, otherwise teams will see that they truly are damaged goods and are better off left sitting on the discount rack then putting them in their shopping cart. Only time will tell on this one but all I can say is that he looks really really strange in a Bills hat. Just like Montana Chiefs uniform, Jordan in a Wizards uniform or Charlie Manuel in any uniform.

This past Saturday was the Beer Pong Championship at Rhythm N Booze and The Zach Attack and myself took the trophy and cash prize with a 5-0 record in a double elimination tournament. Good times were had and quesadillas were consumed.

Movies I've seen recently and a one sentence review of each:

1. Gran Torino, badass movie and possibly Eastwood's best, anytime you cheer for a racist you know you've found a good formula for a movie.

2. Burn After Reading, should be called Burn After Watching, the Coen brothers are drinking their own Kool-Aid at this point in their career, it just hasn't killed them yet.*

3. The Kingdom, Jamie Foxx's 2nd best movie after Collateral, shows major tensions in Saudi Arabia and what happens when you fuck with Jason Bateman.

4. Slumdog Millionaire, worthy of winning the Best Picture award, hits you on almost every emotional level and anytime a kid is willing to fall into a pool of shit for an autograph you know it'll atleast be entertaining.

5. Taken, who knew Liam Neeson could jump off a bridge, do a barrel roll onto a moving boat and kill a bunch of Albanians, not I.

6. New Jack City, hadn't seen it in a long time and shows what happens when people feel like they aren't making enough money off of coke and decide to switch to the crack market.

7. White Men Can't Jump, apparently I was going through a Wesley Snipes phase, the only thing missing was Passenger 57, Woody Harrelson is white, I mean really really white, he makes Bryant Gumbel actually seem black.

*It should be noted that I actually had to pause Burn After Reading halfway through to look for the plot of it on imdb.com because I was so incredibly lost in the sea of stupidity that I literally had no idea what the hell I was watching. Sadly, the plot was actually what I thought it was, I just can't believe they were able to extend it to 100 minutes when it could've been a 3 minute internet movie. There was one tolerable character in the entire movie and it's the intelligence boss who only has about 10 lines and it's in the last 15 minutes.

Ok so maybe I used too many commas but I said one sentence, I never said it would be a gramatically correct sentence.

Intrigued in Incheon


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Mar. 11th, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)
Here you go...

Get your order in buddy. He's not really going to wear # 0 is he?
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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