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Just realized it's been 3 weeks since my last post, apologies all around. It's tough getting back into a rhythm after you haven't done something for an extended period of time. Much like today, where I've have my first full day of classes since the last week of December. I'm going to do my best to replay the events that took place between 3:52pm and 6:22 yesterday afternoon/evening.

Chitty Chitty Jang Jang came into my class around 2, right after I'd gotten back from a nice little 2 hour lunch break to inform me that teachers would be eating eel after school today. Since my last foray with eel was so successful I figured I'd give it another whirl. He comes up to my room at around 3:30 and told me that the meal was starting early and that I should make my way down, I finished off an email and then made my way downstairs. I was walking to where I thought the meal would be, the cafeteria, silly me ofcourse, it was taking place in the electrical room in the basement. Logical place to grill eel I suppose. As I was lead into the room I froze in my place because all I could see on the table were about 15 bottles of soju. Little back story, I participated in an evening of Soju ladleing last Friday and have since sworn off the stuff because it's just gross. It's had a certain ohhhhh and ahhhh factor when I first arrived on the peninsula but since then the feelings of ooh and ahh have been replaced by feelings of sheer terror. The ladleing kicked my ass and left me not wanting to smell alcohol for atleast several days, my ban on booze abruptly ended at 3:49 yesterday afternoon. There is another Jang at my school, he's a gym teacher and the school drinking pro. As soon as I walked into the room he walked up, gave my a double shot (which I almost threw back up) and then proceeded to kiss my face more times than any man outside of gay porn should be allowed to do. I sat down and started to enjoy the eel. Just as a refresher, eel has a stigma of enhancing male performance and errrrr stamina if you will so it's considered a delicacy in Korea. A kilogram costs an astounding 20,000 won or about $15-16. Which puts it way above lobsters markey value in most parts of the states. I was one of 11 people sitting in the electrical room and ofcourse I felt the need to dub us Ocean's 11 with jang being George Clooney. If I had to pick a character for myself I suppose I'd go with Don Cheadle from the movie, mainly because he was in Boogie Nights and he was the bomb expert in the movie and just smelling the soju made me feel like Hiroshima and Nagasaki were about to be recreated in my innerds.

After the Soju was gone, the sent out the youngest teachers for a run to the store to pick up more supplies, I then requested Mekju (beer) since this was the only way I thought I'd be able to survive the next couple of hours with these animals. Jang 2 then requested I give him a cigarette, five minutes later another cigarette, five minutes later a cigarette, you get the idea. Now would be a good time to mention that it was only male teachers who were drinking and feasting on school grounds... in the electrical room, which by the way was indoors with very little ventilation, again, a great place for an indoor grill and 11 chain smokers. As the room fishbowled or hotboxed with tobacco and sizzling fish flesh, a teacher who ahd disapeared came back with what could only be described as the most frightened woman in the world. She looked like the lawyer from the first Jurassic Park who was sitting on the toilet right before the Tyrannasaurus Rex ate him. This woman definitely thought she was about to be devoured. To make matters worse, I was told that she was an assistant teacher frsh out of college and only 22 years old. Jang 2 or Brad Pitt as I will now call him and another teacher who is Casey Affleck's character tried to seduce her or maybe just make her feel incredibly uncomfortable by putting eel in lettuce wraps and force feeding it to her. She took two bites and then ran a 3.2 second 40 yard dash to the other side of the school and as far away from this Motley Crue as humanly possible. Last I heard, she quit teaching and joined a convent somewhere far far away. I asked my vice principal who had his hand in a cast, what had happened. He told me he had a nasty fall and sprained his wrist, I sympathized and told him of my knee injuries, and this is when the afternoon turned into a scene from Jaws. Next thing you know all the guys are comparing scars, but just like Richard Dreyfuss, I topped them all when I showed off my broken heart from Mary Ellen Moffett. After this the men turn their affection towards me and I proceeded to be kissed an additional 3 times and was called hyung (brother) for a solid 10 minutes. I tried to temper my drinking because I wasn't feeling right for numerous obvious reasons at this point. Listen I enjoy the man love or bromance as some call it, but I was going to have to start charging these guys by the hour if things continued at their current pace. I tried to make my exit a couple times but was unsuccessful as they wanted to take me out to a bar til god knows what time at night. I finally had to force the issue and made up an excuse about really needing to leave and they obliged. Right as I was putting on my backpack a really nice guy who doesn't seem to have much luck with the ladies came up to me and mumbled something about giving him advice with women. He probably chose one of the worst migooks to ask about the topic but I told him to make them laugh, I hear women really like that. I also told him to slow it down on grandpa's sauce beause women don't like a guy who's constantly drunk, wouldn't ya know it, he said that was the major complaint of the women he had dated in the past. Talk about a newsflash. So I repeated myself on relaxing on the booze and I made my way home. I got back a little before 7, screwed around online for a little while, ate a top notch PB and J, finished off one of the best books I've ever read (Slaughterhouse 5) and passed out by 9. All in all, just another day on the peninsula.

I will be writing about my exploits and adventures in Thailand soon, I just need to get a little more down time and organize my thoughts on what exaclty took place during vacation.

Intrigued in Incheon


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Feb. 12th, 2009 11:56 am (UTC)
welcome back migook. hadn't noticed you were gone. dad
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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